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Author Archives: chatflix

Episode 64: The Muppet Christmas Carol

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Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house,
not a creature was stirring ‘cept Rizzo the mouse.
Scrooge slept in his bed played by Michael bleedin’ Caine,
When the Marleys visited wrapped in their chains.
They spoke of a night filled with three haunting spectres,
All played by muppets with Brian Henson as director.
Kermit was Bob Cratchit and Piggy his wife,
Gonzo as Dickens narrating Scrooge’s strife.
And gathered round the table reviewing this flick,
Was Brose, Jade, Matt and Trev (Stu was sick).
Did we like the songs, does the film deserve it’s rep?
Only way to tell is to download this ep.

Merry Christmas from the team at Chatflix.

Episode 63: Conan the Barbarian

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By Crom! We’re finally reviewing Conan the Barbarian! Arnie pays the title character who seeks revenge on James Earl Jones character ‘Doom’ for the death of his parents… wait.. that’s Batman’s origin! Is Conan really Batman? The Chatflix set out for Cimmeria to find the answer to this question.. and only this question on this weeks ep!

Episode 62: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

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People getting hard. A slithering snake in a secret chamber, waving of wands and a moaning Myrtle. No we haven’t started reviewing adult films, we’ve returned to Hogwarts for Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Translated directly from Parseltongue join Brose, Jade, Matt O’Neill and Kirsty O’Connor in their defence against the Dark Arts and Crafts class and find out if they give the film a 9 3/4 out of 10!

Episode 61: Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal

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A chosen one sets out on a journey to bring a balance to the universe. Along the way fighting an evil empire after after being trained by wise old mystics.

Sooo its like Star Wars but with puppets? Exactly!

Jim Henson’s The Dark Crystal combines epic narratives with creature designs that gave adult men nightmares. Not any specific men. Definitely not any men who’s name starts with T. finishes with revor. Nope. Those Skeksies didn’t scare him at all.

Excuse me. I need to go check under the bed for monsters.

Ep 60: Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

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Brose dons the hat and whip with sassy bombshell Stu, sidekick Danielle and witch doctor in training, special guest Stephen Hall to talk Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

A film very close to our hearts.. which have been ripped out and are currently been in held by Mola Ram. So join us for a refreshing dinner chat where we serve opinions, facts, observations and of course monkey brains.

Episode 59: the Love Guru

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The Love Guru is about loving people for who they are.. but not even a mother could love this film.. also I’m not sure that’s what this film is about, I refused to watch it to write this description. Instead we made Man Bites God watch it. They will tell you about it so you also don’t have to watch it

Episode 58: Blade Runner 2049

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Blade Runner 2049 is the dystopian future sequel that sees Ryan Gosling ignore his mothers advice about running with sharp objects. Will professional crotchety old man Harrison Ford slap some sense in to him? And how will we know what Jarod Leto’s character is if it’s not tattooed on his forehead? The Chatflix crew answer none of these questions.

Episode 57: Tootsie

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Did you know it’s such a man’s world that even successful women in Hollywood are actually played by men. Cate Blanchett? Actually James Franco. Julia Roberts? A character invented by Robert De Niro! Emma Stone is actually Ryan Gosling, shooting La La Land was reeeeeally hard.

Where did they all get the idea? Dustin Hoffman’s Tootsie! Where struggling sharp tongued actor Dustin becomes sassy and loved actress Dustin. In a time when trans wasn’t a thing, this film is about a man learning the lesson that women are actually PEOPLE! I was shocked too! Some presidents STILL haven’t learned that lesson.

Join Brose, Matt, Shaun and Hayley Tantau in a little soap opera we call Chatflix.

Episode 56: Pans Labyrinth

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This film contains neither David Bowie or Captain Hook and therefore Trev was very confused why they called this film Pan’s Labyrinth. To be fair he also found the Spanish hard too.. oh wait there were subtitles? Well that makes it easier. Guillermo Del Toro directed Hellboy though so it’s as pretty as all get out. The Chatflix gang ignore Trev’s ramblings and discuss this visual tour de force

Episode 55: Batman Returns

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Tell me if you’ve heard this one. A Bat and a Cat walk into a sequel and bring a scene eating Penguin and.. a brilliant. Christopher.. Walken!

Trev jumps into the Bat-hosting chair with his Boy Wonder Brose as they are joined with Dale Maccanti from Trev’s comic After the Snow and Have You Been Paying Attention and Utopia actor Dilruk Jayasinha.

Tune in to see if we think this film is Purrrrfect or a Harp from Hell.